I'm usually not the blogging type but I had a crazy series of thoughts that are too long for a Facebook status so I'm sharing it here!

I was cleaning my house this morning. That's my new years resolution... keeping a tidy house. Fly lady says 15 minutes a day is all it takes. Fly lady must be a single no kids living in a studio apartment with nothing but knick knacks because it takes  me at least 2 hours to keep up. Then I thought I bet there's a stupid blog somewhere that goes something like this..

I'm the all knowing perfect mom and this is how I keep a perfect house and I have a toddler and I start at 9 pm clean the entire house while my family is tucked into bed. The. I wake up an hour before everyone to get ready for the day and then I follow my toddler around the house picking up every mess all day and I eat while he takes a nap.

That lead me to think of all the conflicting opinions of how to be the best mom.

Dont spank your kids talk it out but she. He doesn't listen then make sure you use the thickest belt you have so he learns a lesson because by golly I was spanked and I turned out perfect!

Don't let your kid have any screen time because he will not develop correctly and die
But if you do use screen time make sure its baby Einstein or learning apps so he will develope successfully and not die.
Make sure you use hand santizier every 10 to 15 minutes so your baby doesn't get sick. On second thought scratch that because germs help you develop antibodies so your baby doesn't get sick and die.
Put your baby on his belly to sleep so when he spits up he won't choke and die but actually he will die because of SIDS

And then I thought of the contraversary that stresses me out the most... vaccines!!!!!
 Big pharma
Give your baby shots or he will die
I vaccinate so I protect my baby
I don't vaccinate to protect my baby
Drs are bribed with fancy vacations for every 100 shots they give
Conspiracy theories

Then I remembered something very special to me. One of the ladies from Canada who I love invited me to pray and God would give me an answer. Yesterday my mom and I had a little scripture chase. It was really neat to learn from my mom. I really value her testimony.
 We read about the word of wisdom in the doctrine and covenants.
Section 89 vs 4... in consequence if evil designs which do and will exist in the hearts if men in the last day...
I thought someone has to be lying.
Why do I feel extreme anxiety wheat her I vaccinate my precious baby boy?
I feel like a bad mom either way.
I have learned this past year that anxiety is an unrealistic fear.
Then these thoughts ran through my head like flashes
Conspiracy theories
Trust the experts.
I imagined the faces of nurses and drs that are my personal friends that I love and trust.
These are not evil people
They are in this field because they are compassionate not greedy.

I was filled with a feeling of peace and comfort.

I know this was my answer from heavenly father and I'm grateful.

I no longer want to be confused by the voices around me but me a confident mom!
I know Jared and I have the common sense that will help our baby to grow into a wonderful person!

I am in no way suggesting that this is the all knowing way or that I'm the perfect mom.

I know that God is all knowing and he does know the answer for you and your family.