Purpose: To give hope to others.
I've started this blog post many times over the past weeks.
I've begun to type only to backspace again, shaking my head, thinking, " No that's not it."
I've done this over and over again.
I think the main reason this one is so hard for to write is because what I'm about to tell you makes me vulnerable. What I'm about to say might surprise you. It might make you think of me differently then you have before.
I want to share with you my journey to finding peace.
You see this is something I've always struggled with. To be completely honest it's something that I struggle with every day. That's because I suffer with bi polar disorder.
You can look up the technical definition of bi polar disorder if you'd like. You won't find it here.
What I'm going to tell you is MY journey, MY struggles, MY triumphs, and MY falls and how I'm actively searching for peace in my life. My story may or may not fall into the "technical" symptoms of the disease but that's because
I am not my diagnosis.
and here's why...
I'm a daughter a wife a mother.
I'm a good cook.
I'm a swimmer.
No picture available :)
I'm a painter.
I like to work out and eat healthy.
Again no picture... luckily!
I like to craft.
Some days I have crazy days. Days where I swing from high to low.
Sometimes I feel like screaming and let's be honest sometimes I do scream. Some days I feel like I'm on top of the world invincible. Really really super de Dooper best mood ever!!!! Seems fun huh? Its not because that's when the worst crashes follow. The lowest of lows where you feel all alone.
But with the best of the best support system. Doctors therapists family. The best husband ever and don't forget ME I mostly have good days!
A year ago, March 2013 to be exact. I was hospitalized with bi polar disorder. It was one of the best things I ever did. That might sound weird to a lot of people but it was my start to getting treatment.
It was the START. It definitely was not the end by any means. From there I was referred to an awesome therapist, Dr Lisa Houston. and from there I was referred to Dr Dipeirdiminico or Dr "D" :)
She's a the best of the best psychiatrists at UofA in Tucson Arizona.
My treatment consists of therapy, medication. ROUTINE, exercise eating right and mindful meditation. and that's what works for me!
Back to my purpose, I hope that anyone who is struggling with depression, anxiety and or suicidal thoughts will find this helpful.
I want you to know that you are not a lone. Many of us suffer every day! and you can do it! You can find peace in your life. and I pray that you do. I'm a listening ear if you need it.
